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32 Funny exactly quotes

Trending Funny Exactly Quotes 🔥

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.
I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.
Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.
Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.
My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

More funny exactly quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: “This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Commentary:
"When someone tells you 'This too shall pass!' and you're just waiting there like a penguin staring at a melting ice cube… 🐧❄️ #WaitingForItToPass"
5 months ago
Share →: I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sun, always finding a way to sneak past our defenses! 🌞😎 It's like a game of cosmic hide-and-seek with our car visors. Time to give that sneaky sun some credit for its persistence in brightening our day, no matter what we do! ☀️🚗 #SunVsVisor"
5 months ago
Share →: The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Commentary:
"Ah, parenting: the ultimate crash course in empathizing with your future self 🤒🤢 Who knew that a stomach bug could double as a crystal ball predicting your own misery? The joys of 'shared suffering' with your little germ factories! 😆👨‍👧‍👦 #ParentingProblems #GrossButTrue"
5 months ago
Share →: I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Commentary:
"Having a riveting debate with myself today was truly a sight to behold 👥💬 Who needs company when you can have such agreeable conversations with the one and only Me, Myself, and I? 💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ #IWinEveryTime"
5 months ago
Share →: When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Commentary:
"Life's greatest mystery: when does wisdom finally decide to show up and pay rent in our brains? 🤔🤓 Until then, we'll just keep collecting more wrinkles and bad jokes! 😂👴🏼"
5 months ago
Share →: Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Commentary:
"Offering advice in your late 20s to someone in their early 20s is like a toddler trying to guide a newbie on their very first steps in the wide world of adulthood! 🧒👶 While your intentions might be well-meaning, there's no denying the comical mismatch in experience levels. Just remember, we're all in this chaotic journey together! 🌟😄"
5 months ago
Share →: I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Commentary:
"Being flexible is definitely my strong suit, just as long as everything goes exactly as I envisioned it in my mind palace with absolutely zero deviations… 😅🤷‍♂️ Who needs spontaneity when you've got a perfectly crafted blueprint, am I right?"
5 months ago
Share →: Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Commentary:
"Believing the bodega owner likes you is as misguided as thinking the stripper is interested in your personality. 🤣💵 Let's be real, they both just want your money, darling! 💸 #RealityCheck"
5 months ago
Share →: Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Commentary:
"Coconuts: the silent assassins lurking in tropical paradise 🥥🦈 Who needs Jaws when you have falling coconuts to fear? Better stick to the pool, it's safer… unless there are coconuts growing nearby! 😂🌴 #CoconutConundrum"
5 months ago
Share →: I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Commentary:
"I keep the blue tick on WhatsApp as my own little passive-aggressive statement 🕰️ I want people to know that my lack of response was intentional, and also that the ball is in their court 🏀😄 #ReadAndIgnored"