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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Breaking via Slack:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Seen just now on Instagram:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Shared recently on Slack:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Breaking via Discord:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

16 Funny filled quotes

Funny filled quotes are the perfect recipe for instant smiles and belly laughs 😂🎉 Whether you need a quick mood boost or a clever way to brighten someone’s day, these witty gems are packed with humor and charm 🤪✨ Get ready to sprinkle your feed with joy and share some chuckles with friends—because life’s better when it’s sprinkled with laughter! 😂💬

New funny filled quotes 👇

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

5 hours ago

fabric, filled, much, needle, nostalgia, sewing, tomato
Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

2 weeks ago

cheater, culture, dating, filled, hook-up, hook-up culture, marry, modern, modern dating, relationship, situationship, world
The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

2 months ago

cart, experience, filled, frustration, funny experience, furious, grocery, grocery store, humor, me, moron, navigating, navigation, shopping, shopping cart, slow, slow and furious, store, through
My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

2 months ago

confusion, filled, Googling, history, humor, just, language, me, regular, regular word, right, search, search history, sure, using, using right, word, words
No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

2 months ago

absurdity, color, filled, fire, fire hydrant, humor, hydrant, joke, ketchup, mustard, red, theory, yellow
Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

2 months ago

abandoned, dying, filled, flower, flowers, garden, ghost, ghosts, heart, humor, melancholy
How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

2 months ago

contradiction, dare, Earth, filled, humor, irony, most, person, personality, rage, sweetest
In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

2 months ago

celebration, cold, darkness, distant, filled, honor, humor, i, irony, seasonal, solstice, winter, winter solstice
It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, basket, chores, daily, daily life, filled, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, laundry, laundry basket, life, money, nice, relatable, struggle
In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

2 months ago

autumn, change, cold, darkness, distant, equinox, fall, fall equinox, filled, honor, humor, i, seasonal, seasonal change, wit

For even more funny filled quotes, hit next 👇

All funny filled quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

88 shares on Slack this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Spotted on WeChat:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Live now on Facebook:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Live now on TikTok:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Spotted on WeChat:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Making waves on TikTok:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

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