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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,852

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Just landed via Messenger:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Live now on WeChat:

You are the Monday of my life.

Just shared via Facebook:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Making waves on WeChat:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Home » Funny Good Quotes » Page 8

377 Funny good quotes

More funny good quotes 👇

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

0

1 month ago

complexity, everything, existential, good, humor, morning, only, philosophical, uncertainty, wit
My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

0

1 month ago

am, computer, doing, good, heat, humor, i, job, joke, laptop, multitasking, overheating, productivity, tech, tech joke, technology, work
Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

0

1 month ago

am, beautiful, confidence, day, good, humor, i, morning, positivity, self-love
I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

0

1 month ago

academy, blame, comedy, culture, doing, entertainment, film, generation, good, humor, humor quote, i, idea, movy, much, nostalgia, police, police academy, pop, pop culture, stuff, stupid, thought, too
I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

0

1 month ago

always, bad, deserve, good, humor, i, motivation, routine, self-care, self-indulgence, self-love, simply, treat, treats, week, weekly, weekly routine
If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

0

1 month ago

activity, baby, beach, beach activity, beautiful, boyfriend, compliment, digging, good, hole, humor, i, ID, job, playful, relationship, sarcastic, watch
“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

0

1 month ago

attitude, casual, good, humor, know, man, music, music taste, playlist, relaxed, relaxed attitude, sounds, taste
Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

0

1 month ago

confidence, fun, good, happen, happiness, humor, naked, positivity, smile, things
You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

0

1 month ago

communication, good, humor, irony, listener, listening, need, nodding, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills
Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

0

1 month ago

activity, car, car ride, fun, fun activity, good, health, loud, loud music, mental, mental health, music, relaxation, ride, self-care, solo, soul, yourself

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

39 shares on Discord this month:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

21 shares on Instagram this month:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Going viral on Threads:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Just landed via TikTok:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Spotted on Threads:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Just landed via Instagram:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Activity Log ✨

377 Funny good quotes

More funny good quotes 👇

All funny good quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨