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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Spotted on Facebook:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Trending via Snapchat:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Just shared via Reddit:

Happy new fear!

Trending via YouTube:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Just landed via WeChat:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Breaking via Instagram:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Home » Funny Got Quotes

32 Funny got quotes

Funny got quotes 🤣 are the perfect way to sprinkle a dash of humor into your day! Whether you’re navigating the ups and downs of life 🌀 or just in need of a good chuckle 😂, these witty words of wisdom will keep you entertained. From light-hearted jabs to clever twists, get ready to smile and share the laughter with friends! 💬🎉 Dive into this world of hilarity and let the quotes bring a sparkle to your day! ✨

New funny got quotes 👇

10 hours ago
Share →: People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Commentary:
I've got a hook, line, and sinker for that elusive salmon, but they keep ghosting me for the deep blue! 🎣🐟😂
5 days ago
Share →: Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Commentary:
Finally, my "smash hit" career has begun! 🍔🥊😂
6 days ago
Share →: When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to start practicing my bat skills, because daylight is getting way too expensive! 🦇💡😅
7 days ago
Share →: Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Commentary:
When you realize your dog has a self-destruct mode 😂💥🐕
1 week ago
Share →: Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Commentary:
Too busy living that grasshopper life, practicing my foot-rubbing symphony 🦗🛏️😂
1 week ago
Share →: So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Commentary:
When life gives you telemarketers, give them a taste of their own menu! 🤣☎️ Press 1 for a good laugh!
1 week ago
Share →: You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Commentary:
No beef in the fridge, just a whole lot of spam 😂🥩🍔
1 week ago
Share →: Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Commentary:
Sounds like he's about to unleash some serious wisdom—or just tell us where the best tacos are! 😎🌮📢
1 week ago
Share →: Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Commentary:
Now I'm not just shocked by the doorbell but also by how much my girlfriend wanted a professional. 🔌😜🔊🤯
1 week ago
Share →: Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Commentary:
Trying to unlock my email feels like cracking the Da Vinci Code, but if you need me to sing "Barbie Girl" from '97, I've got you covered 🎤🤔🔑

For even more funny got quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny got quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Just shared via X:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Just landed via Facebook:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Just shared via Instagram:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Making waves on Messenger:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Live now on Twitch:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Breaking via WeChat:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Seen just now on X:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

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