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56 Funny head quotes

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

3 months ago

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

3 months ago

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

3 months ago

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

3 months ago

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

3 months ago

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

3 months ago

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

3 months ago

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

3 months ago

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

3 months ago

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

3 months ago

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

3 months ago

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

3 months ago

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

3 months ago

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

3 months ago

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

3 months ago

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

3 months ago

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

3 months ago

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

3 months ago

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

3 months ago

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

3 months ago