Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Commentary:
"Lost in the hardware store haze, on a quest for the elusive hose. The struggle is real, but the laughter is inevitable. 🌿🔧😂 #DIYgonewild"
4 months ago
Share →: In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Commentary:
🎳🥞 "Bowling and pancakes: where the strikes are just as elusive as the perfectly flipped pancake. It's all fun and games until reality hits you in the gutter. Keep rolling those balls and flipping those flapjacks – maybe one day you'll strike gold (or at least brunch)." 🎳🥞
4 months ago
Share →: I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Commentary:
Ah, the untamed might of a toddler with a sippy cup in hand – a force to be reckoned with! If only we could channel that same level of confidence and determination in our adult lives, imagine the chaos we could cause (or prevent)! Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility – and probably a lot of spilled juice.
4 months ago
Share →: Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Commentary:
"Who knew that mastering the art of relaxation and zen could be so competitive? Watch out, this blood pressure machine might just challenge you to a rematch!"
4 months ago
Share →: I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the innocence of thinking high school was stress-inducing! Little did we know adulting would be a whole new level of chaos and confusion. Remember when the highlight of our day was worrying about passing a math test? Those were the good ol' days of blissful ignorance! 😅 #AdultingIsHard #StressLevel1000
5 months ago
Share →: Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Commentary:
"Harry Potter really takes 'extracurricular activities' to a whole new level! 🧙‍♂️⚡️ Who knew high school could get this intense? 📚🏰 #SchoolWars"
6 months ago
Share →: Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Commentary:
"Let's skip the amateur hour and dive straight into the MENSA-level conspiracy game, shall we? 🧠🕵️‍♂️ Who needs Area 51 when you can have Area 404 – where all the truly ingenious theories go to hide 😏🛸 #ConspiracyTheoryConnoisseur"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the age-old mystery of thigh high stockings and their captivating hold on men's hearts 🧦❤️ Who knew that a piece of fabric could have such power! Maybe it's the allure of feeling like a glamorous spy or a seductive supermodel. Or perhaps men are just big fans of warm knees and stylish leg accessories 😂 Whatever the reason, the thigh highs reign supreme in the realm of irresistible fashion choices!"
6 months ago
Share →: In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony! Holding onto that grudge like it's a prized possession 😤🏆 Who knew high school superlatives could leave such a lasting impact? #LifetimeGrudgeHolder" 🤣
6 months ago
Share →: Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's a joint effort to keep your ankle rolled up 😂🌿🦶 #HighAnkle"