Commentary:
"Clearly, your TV needs a higher IQ setting! π€¦ββοΈπΊπ"
3528 Funny i quotes
Trending Funny I Quotes π₯
- Hit my coworker with βyouβre a lucky manβ after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.
- I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.
- Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?
- In high school I was voted βmost likely to hold a grudgeβ and Iβm still mad about it.
- I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.
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"At least you're keeping the dance floor entertained and the cardio going! πΊππΆπ" -
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"When you're outsmarted by your own snack stash… π€¦π»ββοΈπ«π #SnackNinjaFail" -
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"When I say I'm on a seafood diet, I mean I see food, and I eat it. π₯΄π Let's keep it that way!" -
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"Imagine a herd of meese sneaking into restaurants, ordering their own salads. π¦π₯ #MooseParty" -
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"π Just realized my calling might be therapist avoidance instead! πββοΈπ¨ #EmotionalEscapeArtist" -
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"Just imagine clearing crowds like autumn leaves β 'Sorry, folks, the wind's really picking up today!' πππ" -
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"Nothing like a good message mix β keeps life nutty and never boring! π₯π±π" -
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"Finally achieving global obscurityβmy posts are truly world-class in going unnoticed! πππ»" -
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"When I crank up Metallica, my neighbors join the live concert! πΈπ€π "
Top Funny I Quotes π₯
- I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.
- Sorry I didnβt get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.
- I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.
- People pass a joint around like itβs no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, Iβm a weirdo.
- Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.
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