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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Just shared via Reddit:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Just shared via WhatsApp:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Spotted on Telegram:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Going viral on WeChat:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Just landed via Instagram:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

73 Funny light quotes

Funny light quotes 🌟 are the perfect way to brighten your day and illuminate any mood with a dash of humor! Whether you need a chuckle 💡 or a giggle 😂, these witty one-liners and playful puns will have you grinning from ear to ear. Dive into a world where laughter meets illumination, and let these delightful quips shine a light on your funny bone. Get ready to light up your life with laughter! ✨

New funny light quotes 👇

Grok, put light in her eyes.

1 week ago

eyes, grok, humor, light, put
Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

1 week ago

airplane, airplane crash video, braid, candle, crash, dark, dark humor, fresh, glowing, hair, hair braid, humor, incredible, irony, light, light off, lights, relaxation, room, room smell, sheet, sheets, shower, smell, smells, video, videos
My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

1 week ago

beam, goal, humor, light, new, new year, powerful, resolution, year
Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

1 week ago

congratulations, getting, humor, light, red, red light, sarcasm, special, traffic
Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

1 week ago

around, bright, brightness, Christmas, Christmas light, here, holiday, humor, light, lights, only, personality, sarcasm, thing
Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

1 week ago

before, driving, green, green light, hours, humor, i, light, marriage, me, patience, relationship, sit, stoplight, tell, waiting
My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

1 week ago

Christmas, Christmas light, holiday, hours, humor, just, light, lights, me, OnlyFans, untangling
In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

1 week ago

20s, before, dating, demon, dream, dreams, evil, important, light, loser, love, man, narcissist, relationship, run
He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

1 week ago

asking, Christmas, Christmas light, decoration, feet, holiday, holiday preparation, light, lights, preparation, realize, relationship, Saturday, surprise, task, untangling
Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

1 week ago

90, blue, blue light, car, crazy, driving, enforcement, going, law, law enforcement, light, lights, lol, me, police, red, red light, sarcasm, speeding, stupid, tailgate, top, traffic, while

For even more funny light quotes, hit next 👇

All funny light quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on X this month:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

84 shares on Threads this month:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

88 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

39 shares on Slack this month:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Going viral on Messenger:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Just shared via Slack:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Just shared via Telegram:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴