Funny quotes line

30 Funny line quotes

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Funny Quotes Apr 1, 2025

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025