220 Funny little quotes

• Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

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  6 days ago

  age, am, being, call, car, car warranty, check, check-up, day, every, humor, i, India, little, me, older, older age, phone, phone call, scam, scam call, someone, telemarketing, warranty

• Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

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  1 week ago

  communication, everyone, humor, little, relationship, sarcasm, silent, silent treatment, treatment, weekend

• I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

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  1 week ago

  adult, am, antidepressant, doing, eating, floss, flossing, going, here, humor, i, idiot, irony, just, laundry, little, responsibility, salad, self-care, taking, teeth, walk, walks, want, whatever

• If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

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  1 week ago

  air, annoying, annoying behavior, behavior, finger, finger quotation, humor, interaction, introduction, job, job title, little, prank, quotation, sarcasm, social, social interaction, someone, title

• You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

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  2 weeks ago

  bit, evil, girl, humor, important, little, lose, me, meet, relationship, strange

• Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

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  2 weeks ago

  bit, Earth, enjoyment, entertainment, humor, just, life, little, living, mood, music, survival

• Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

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  2 weeks ago

  always, ambition, aspiration, childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, little, lot, money, wanted, woman

• Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

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  2 weeks ago

  being, dating, drunk, flirt, little, nightlife, only, relationship, single, sucks, want

• I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

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  2 weeks ago

  after, doom, doom scroll, humor, i, improve, improvement, life, little, media, procrastination, scroll, self, self-improvement, social, social media, yes

• I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

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  3 weeks ago

  9, anxiety, asked, childhood, club, enough, good, humor, i, join, joke, little, nervous, situation, social, social situation, swing, swingers, swingers club

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