Funny quotes marriage Page 3

83 Funny marriage quotes

Funny marriage quotes offer a humorous look at the ups and downs of married life! From witty remarks about the quirks of being married to playful observations on the challenges and joys of partnership, these quotes capture the lighter side of wedded bliss. Enjoy a laugh and celebrate the fun in your marriage!

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

3 months ago

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

3 months ago

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

3 months ago

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

3 months ago

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

3 months ago

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

3 months ago

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

3 months ago

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

3 months ago

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

3 months ago

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

3 months ago

My wife has the worst taste in men.

3 months ago

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

3 months ago

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

3 months ago

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

3 months ago

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

3 months ago

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

3 months ago

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

3 months ago

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

3 months ago

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

3 months ago

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

3 months ago

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

3 months ago

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

3 months ago

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

3 months ago