Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sheer audacity of a new device trying to login… from the cozy confines of your own home! 🤔📱🏠 Quick, call Interpol! This is clearly a case for the world's top cyber secret agents to handle! 🔍🕵️‍♂️💼"
6 months ago
Share →: Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Commentary:
"Who needs a white noise machine when you've got me around? 🛌😴 But hey, if you can't handle the symphony of my sleep, you don't get a front-row seat to my morning opera! 🎶😉 #SnoreAndRoar"
6 months ago
Share →: Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Commentary:
"Curly fries and I: a salty, spiraling love affair 🌀🍟 Who knew a side dish could capture the essence of my dramatic life so perfectly? 😂 #CurlyFriesGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Commentary:
"Looks like Dr. Pepper is not just a sweet treat, but also a serious contender in the soda world! 🥤🎓 Who knew a PhD could be so refreshing and bubbly? Forget about thesis stress, bring on the fizzy success! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Commentary:
"Swimming with dolphins may break the bank, but swimming with sharks will have you diving into your savings, literally! 🦈💸 Better watch out for those loan sharks next time! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Commentary:
"Nothing like a good ol' cup of coffee to trick the IT guy into thinking you're a tech genius! ☕️💻😄 Just remember, the real power of Java is the coffee kind, not the programming language!"
6 months ago
Share →: When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Commentary:
Ah, the bittersweet transition from being a regular at the bar to a VIP at the pharmacy 🍸💊 Here's to aging gracefully and getting carded for your medication instead of your drinks! 🎉 #CheersToGrowingUp
6 months ago
Share →: Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Commentary:
"Dear deodorant manufacturers, if your product really lasts 72 hours, does that mean I can hibernate for 3 days and still smell fresh? 🤔 Meanwhile, my bus ride feels like a never-ending aroma adventure thanks to your 'long-lasting' promise! 🚌🤢 #PublicTransportStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Commentary:
"My imaginary child is always entertaining me with deep philosophical questions 🤔👶 #HallucinationOrImagination"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Commentary:
"Oops, looks like debt collectors will have to hunt down my past selves! 🕵️‍♂️💸 Time travel might be the only solution here! ⏳🚀 Oh well, new year, new debts to ignore! 😆💼 #OutOfSightOutOfMind"