2080 Funny me quotes

• I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

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  2 weeks ago

  call, comfy, dress, fashion, floral, flortato, humor, i, me, nelly, Nelly Flortato, potato, self-deprecation, today

• I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

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  2 weeks ago

  bed, body, breakfast, crisis, eating, eating in bed, gym, gym membership, humor, i, indulgence, me, membership, midlife, midlife crisis, revenge, revenge body, self-care, Snickers, want, wish

• Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

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  2 weeks ago

  airport, anything, asked, coke, expensive, food, food pricing, humor, i, joke, just, me, paid, pricing, sandwich, security, seen, start, travel, unusual

• Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

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  2 weeks ago

  act, better, bring, children, competition, drop, drop off, hate, humor, judgment, just, me, parent, parenting, parents, school

• Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

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  2 weeks ago

  enemy, faster, humor, me, observation, rivalry, same, sidewalk, sorry, speed, thinking, walking

• I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

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  2 weeks ago

  asking, Batman, decision making, humor, i, inspiration, me, much, myself, new, self-reflection, superhero, think, time, too, trouble

• I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

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  2 weeks ago

  ask, both, clarity, communication, confused, confusion, hate, here, humor, i, idea, insight, irony, learning, listen, me, meant, nonsense, people, same, say, something, time, understanding, wit

• Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

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  2 weeks ago

  battery, dependency, devices, humor, leave, loneliness, me, own, self-reliance, technology

• “Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

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  2 weeks ago

  communication, cue, humor, invitation, keep, let, me, polite, sarcasm, social, social cue, translation

• Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

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  2 weeks ago

  age, being, club, crazy, creation, frankenstein, humor, me, monster, nightlife, old, only, party, should, victor, Victor Frankenstein, youth

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