Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Commentary:
"Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome 😄 Oh, the joys of disappearing act – you just couldn't resist missing my dazzling presence! 💁‍♂️✨"
6 months ago
Share →: I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'Never mind, it's only 10 bucks' turning into 'Wait, why is my bank account crying?' 💸😂 Remember, it's all fun and games until you check your credit card statement! 💳🔍"
6 months ago
Share →: You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'liquid courage meets intense gaze' situation. 🍸👀 It's like a high-stakes game of staring contest with a twist – and by twist, I mean the potential for awkward confessions and questionable decisions! Proceed with caution, folks. 😆"
6 months ago
Share →: Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Commentary:
🤔🌟 How about we skip the whole election hoopla and simply vow to behave ourselves? 🇺🇸 Who needs a president when we've got our impeccable behavior to lead the way? 😜👏 Let's all strive for that "Student of the Month" vibe in this national experiment! #GoodCitizenshipGoals
6 months ago
Share →: I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Commentary:
"Guess even your AirPods can't handle your vibrant energy! ⚡️ It's all fun and games until they run out of juice before you do! 🔋😆"
6 months ago
Share →: The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Commentary:
"Seems like that mosquito has some fancy taste buds! 🍷🦟 Must have been looking for a more refined blood type! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of dream jobs vs. dreamy thoughts 🤔💭 Why dream about working when you could be dreaming about a beach vacation instead? 🏖️ #beachbumlife"
6 months ago
Share →: I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Commentary:
"Canceling plans like it's my part-time job! 💁‍♀️ Who needs Netflix when you've got me as the ultimate no-show entertainer? 🤣 #MasterOfCancellation"
6 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Commentary:
"Looks like the scanner isn't the only one checking you out! 😉💳 Better watch out for those beeping hearts at the checkout counter! ❤️🛒 #SmoothOperator"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Commentary:
Looks like Earth just can't escape the drama! 🌎😢 Who needs a psychic when you've got a front-row seat to the cosmic show of emotions right here on good old planet Earth? 😂 #CosmicComedy