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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,771

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Spotted on Messenger:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Just landed via Facebook:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Spotted on Pinterest:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Making waves on Telegram:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Trending via WeChat:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Messenger this month:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

39 shares on Discord this month:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

21 shares on Slack this month:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,056

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Just shared via Twitch:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Live now on WeChat:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Just shared via Instagram:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Making waves on Reddit:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Spotted on YouTube:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Trending via Threads:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

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