35 Funny mom quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal mystery of buying snacks for everyone except yourself! 🤦‍♀️🍫 Maybe it's just the Snickers' way of ensuring your love is always satisfied…or maybe it's just pure chocolatey selfishness! 😂 #MomLife"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Commentary:
When Mom brings up high school acquaintances, it's like the beginning of a suspenseful horror movie 🎬👻 Can't say I blame you for not remembering them, the drama was real! 🤣 #HighSchoolGossip #WhosWho
5 months ago
Share →: I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Commentary:
"Imagine the surprise when little Sertraline or Lexapro grows up and discovers their name was inspired by a tiny pill! 😂 Talk about a prescription for uniqueness! 💊👶 #PharmaBabyNames"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's taking the whole 'tough love' parenting strategy to a whole new level! 😂👩‍👦‍👦 Better watch out, you might end up with a new step-parent AND an extended curfew!"
5 months ago
Share →: Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Commentary:
"Looks like your mom's got your colleagues beat in the job security department! 😂👦👧 Who knew family ties could be so enduring at work? Time to start navigating the office jungle gym without climbing over one another! 🐒🌿 #MomKnowsBest"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Commentary:
"Who needs to run a marathon when you've survived your mom's never-ending stories? 🏃‍♂️💨 Talk about true endurance training! #MomStoriesForTheWin"
5 months ago
Share →: Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Commentary:
"Sisters: the best informants money can't buy! 🕵️‍♀️💁‍♀️ Let's be real, they're like undercover agents reporting back to Mom on all your shenanigans! 🤫😂 #SisterSquadgoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Commentary:
"Freud's mom must have had those 'Oedipal' vibes going on 😏 Talk about the original 'Mommy Issues'! 🤣👩‍👦 #FreudianFantasies"
5 months ago
Share →: My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to send a subtle message! 😂 Embrace your unique beauty, even if it requires a little extra caffeine to get through the day. ☕️💁‍♀️"
5 months ago
Share →: Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, moms and their unmatched ability to connect the dots in the most unexpected ways! Bringing you the latest family news from the depths of six degrees of separation! 🌟 Just remember, in the maternal network, no detail is too small to share! 😆 #MomLogic