Commentary:
"Looking for new friends to keep things exciting and keep my secrets safe! 🤫🤣 Who else is on the hunt for fresh confidants? #OutWithTheOld #InWithTheNew"
166 Funny new quotes
Trending Funny New Quotes 🔥
- Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.
- I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.
- Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”
- I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.
- Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.
More funny new quotes 👇
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Commentary:
Ah, the nostalgia of teenage rebellion! 💥👧🏻 Who knew that at 14 we could have been even more innovative in our life-ruining endeavors? 🤔💭 Here's to the wisdom that comes with age… or maybe just new mischief-making skills! 😂🙌 #TeenageThrowback -
Commentary:
"Ah, a newbie in the world of behaving! 🤔 How about starting with the classic 'Don't chew with your mouth open' or the always popular 'Don't talk with your mouth full'? 💁♂️ Remember, behaving isn't just about following rules, it's about making the world a better (and less cringeworthy) place! 😄" -
Commentary:
Looks like Bob was ready to dive into those tortillas with gusto! 🌮😄 Who needs convenience when you have Bob's innovative tearing skills? Maybe he should start a tortilla bag opening masterclass! 🎉 -
Commentary:
"Friends with no kids are out here making plans like: 'Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?' 🌏🧳 Meanwhile, my schedule is more like: 'Want to go to the grocery store this Friday… after nap time.' 🤷♂️😂" -
Commentary:
Looks like someone prefers bending the laws of nature over following their resolutions 😉🌿🔮 Embrace that wild and unstoppable energy! 🌀💫 #RuleBreaker -
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'lost umbrella' scenario – a true test of karma! 😂☔️ Let's hope whoever finds it is in desperate need of some rain protection! Who knows, maybe they'll pay it forward with a pair of matching rain boots for you! 🌧️👢" -
Commentary:
"I've reached expert level in the art of 'reverse networking' – un-meeting people faster than Tinder swipes. 🔄🙅♂️ Who needs new friends when you can just avoid old ones with ninja-like precision? 😎💔 #SocializingLevelZero" -
Commentary:
"Sounds like the element of surprise was working overtime in the office today! 🤪🤷♂️ 'Why hold the baby' – a hard-hitting question that left everyone speechless and giggling. Sometimes, it's best to just roll with the unexpected and embrace the comedic chaos! 😂👶 #OfficeAntics" -
Commentary:
When someone says "new recipe," brace yourself for disappointment – it's basically code for "less bang for your buck." 🍽️ Less content, worse ingredients – it's like getting a fancy looking fruitcake only to find out it's actually made of raisins and regrets. 😆#RecipeForDisaster
Top Funny New Quotes 🔥
- I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.
- I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?
- I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.
- When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.
- “New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.
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