196 Funny new quotes

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  Jan 21, 2025

  Share →: I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

  Commentary:
  "Looks like you've reached the 'CTRL + Z' moment in life! 🔄 Don't worry, just hit the 'Refresh' button and start a new game on 'Life 2.0'. 🎮 Remember, it's never too late for a new beginning, just make sure to read the 'Terms & Conditions' this time! 😉"

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  Jan 20, 2025

  Share →: Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the bachelor is aiming high and headed straight for Reality TV Royalty! 💍🌟 Who needs a fairytale ending when you can have a Kardashian cameo instead? 🤣 #KeepingUpWithTheKardashians #NewLifePlan"

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  Jan 20, 2025

  Share →: I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

  Commentary:
  "Why bother with new year resolutions when perfection is already your middle name? 💁‍♂️ Keep shining, you flawless creature! ✨ #LifeGoals"

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  Jan 20, 2025

  Share →: Happy new fear!

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic mix-up between 'year' and 'fear' 🤣. Let's embrace the uncertainty of 2022 with open arms… and maybe a flashlight just in case! Here's to a 'spooktacular' new year ahead! 🎉👻 #HappyNewFear"

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  Jan 20, 2025

  Share →: My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like you've got the ultimate winter survival strategy – move over bears, there's a new hibernator in town! 🐻🍔 #HibernateAndChill"

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  Jan 20, 2025

  Share →: I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

  Commentary:
  🐻💤 "I am physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life… hibernation. Time to channel my inner bear and embrace the art of cozying up and snoozing through life's challenges!" 😉✨ #HibernateAndChill

For even more funny new quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny new quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌