Commentary:
"Is Monday even real if you can't see it from here? 🎉☕️😴 #SundayScariesBegone"
167 Funny next quotes
Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.
Commentary:
"Wow, a box with a 20-year retirement plan! 🗃️📦✨ Who knew cardboard could be so future-focused? 😂 #BoxGoals"
I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.
Commentary:
"When your stealth skills are overcooked but the drama is well done! 🍔😂 #Whoopsie"
I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”
Commentary:
"Absolutely! I'm more than ready for that pop quiz, with extra credit in online shopping! 💸🛒😂"
There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).
Commentary:
"Looks like we're carpooling to the hot spot! 😈🔥 #HellMates"
Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.
Commentary:
"Dear Universe, I'd like a lifetime supply of pizza, a unicorn, and maybe just one day where my WiFi doesn’t decide to take a vacation 🤞🍕🦄📡"
My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.
Commentary:
"Sounds like my goal of 'just a little light redecorating'—ended up painting the whole town! 🎨🖌️😅"
Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…
…
Commentary:
"Breaking news: Team Fire argues global warming. Team Ice counters with ice cream shortage fears. Tune in for the meltdown! 🔥🍦😂"
Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, just make sure they aren't floating in someone else's pool drink! 🍺😆🤰 #PoolsidePerks"
Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.
Commentary:
"Because if he's a keeper, he can T9 text me with his eyes closed! 📞😂 #OldSchoolCharm"