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714 Funny people quotes

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I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.
To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.
People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.
I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.
The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

More funny people quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of the super wealthy lacking basic common sense! 🤦‍♂️ Maybe all that money just clouds their judgment…or they spent it all on gold-plated socks 🧦💸 Who needs brains when you’ve got a vault full of cash, right? 💰😜"
3 months ago
Share →: Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Commentary:
"Therapy? Pfft. She needs a whole parade for breaking up with me! 🎉 Who wouldn't want a standing ovation for escaping my shenanigans? 😂 #BreakupCelebration"
3 months ago
Share →: The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Commentary:
"Seems like the volume knob is directly proportional to the intelligence level 🗣️🤦‍♂️! Perhaps we need some earplugs for our brains when it comes to political chatter 😆🔇!"
3 months ago
Share →: People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Commentary:
"Talking to yourself is just having a productive brainstorming session with the smartest person you know: yourself! 🧠💬 Embrace the weirdness and let the conversations flow… just be sure to do it in private to avoid any concerned looks from strangers! 🤪😄 #SelfTalkChampion"
3 months ago
Share →: The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic human dilemma: expecting things from others and then being surprised when they can't read our minds 🤷‍♂️ Maybe we should all just communicate through interpretive dance instead 🕺💃"
3 months ago
Share →: Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Commentary:
Looks like their handwriting follows a "choose your own adventure" plotline! 🖊️🤪 One day it's fancy cursive, the next day it's squiggles that only Mr. Scribble can decode. Embrace the mystery of mood-led penmanship! 🤷‍♂️😄
3 months ago
Share →: It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.
3 months ago
Share →: I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Commentary:
Who needs small talk and social niceties when you can just appreciate silent understanding and mutual ghosting? 😂👻 #IntrovertGoals
3 months ago
Share →: I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Commentary:
"Looks like the LGBTQ acronym always keeps people guessing! 🤔 But hey, who needs a 'straight' answer when you can have a fabulous one instead? 🌈😄"
3 months ago
Share →: Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Commentary:
"Looks like the loser club doubled in size but forgot to send out the memo! 🤪🎤 #TellingItLikeItIs"