714 Funny people quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

  Commentary:
  "According to scientific data, giving liking my posts results in instant happiness, profound intelligence, and a stunning glow-up 🌟💡💁‍♂️ Meanwhile, those who resist the urge may suffer from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and a severe case of 'unlikeability' syndrome 🤷‍♀️🚫 Remember, a 'like' a day keeps the gloom away! 😄👍 #ScienceIsAlwaysRight"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out for those laid-back denim enthusiasts 👖🏡 They might have a secret garden of buried surprises in their backyard! Keep calm and carry on, just steer clear of their eclectic fashion choices 😉🌳 #FashionablyDevious"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the versatile hobby of fake smiling – a true masterpiece in the art of social interactions 😬🤐 Nothing like perfecting that "I'm totally listening" expression while mentally drafting your grocery list or plotting your escape route 🏃‍♂️💭 It's all about striking that delicate balance between looking engaged and suppressing the urge to scream internally 😂 #MasterOfDisguise #SocialSurvivalSkills

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

  Commentary:
  ☕️ "Sipping on that coffee like a civilized adult because trust me, throwing chairs is so last season! 😝 Who knew caffeine could prevent a potential furniture-throwing incident! Keep calm and drink coffee, folks!" ☕️

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

  Commentary:
  Oh, poor T-Rexes, they just can't catch a break! 🦖😂 It turns out, it's not their tiny arms but their lack of a pulse causing the lack of applause. 💀👏 Just imagine a paleontologist arranging a fossilized T-Rex skeleton for an encore. Keep the spirit alive, quite literally! 🦴🎉

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

  Commentary:
  "Maybe those who love escape rooms just prefer their puzzles without the added challenge of assembling furniture 🤔🔍 #EscapeRoomVsIKEA"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

  Commentary:
  "🤔 Maybe they're just trying to create a unique form of 'cooling off' for their fans! 😂💨 Who needs AC when you've got OnlyFans, right?"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

  Commentary:
  "Well, if you're going to focus on the positive, at least you've got some die-hard fans in the mosquito community! Who needs human approval when you've got those buzzing admirers, right?"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joys of passive aggression in exercise! Nothing like a long walk to let off steam and leave annoyance in the dust…literally."

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  4 months ago

  Share →: A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to worry about heights when you've got to navigate through doorways and squeeze into tight spaces? Forget skydiving, I've got to tackle the true challenge of fitting through a narrow hallway!"

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