81 Funny running quotes

• Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

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  2 months ago

  announce, every, exercise, gag, going, humor, i, jog, morning, procrastination, running

• “It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

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  2 months ago

  away, crime, donations, holiday, humor, i, most, pot, running, Santa, theft, wonderful, year

• My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

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  2 months ago

  care, family, humor, hygiene, kids, late, less, management, parenting, personal, personal hygiene, running, running late, somewhere, time, time management

• Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

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  2 months ago

  animals, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, me, religion, running, sacrifice, Satan, stop, zoo

• I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

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  2 months ago

  am, anxiety, away, eyes, fear, funny situation, hiding, humor, i, just, lock, lock eyes, locked, night, ran, running, running away, situation, spend, spider, stress, where

• Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

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  2 months ago

  activity, disappointment, event, exercise, expectation, fun, fun activity, going, humor, i, irony, nothing, park, Park Run, run, running, turn, worse

• Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

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  2 months ago

  arrested, chain, chain of command, charge, city, comedy, comedy idea, command, concept, funny concept, idea, leader, librarian, major, major city, people, person, running, sitcom, top, unexpected, unexpected leader, where

• I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

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  2 months ago

  ad, ad break, adrenaline, away, back, break, call, childhood, excitement, feel, furniture, high, high stakes, i, kids, know, Netflix, never, nostalgia, over, racing, running, screaming, send, sibling, sorry, stakes, time, TV

• I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

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  2 months ago

  cardio, exercise, fitness, frustration, humor, i, need, patience, running

• Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

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  2 months ago

  after, back, came, exercise, fitness, five, forgot, humor, i, jogging, minutes, motivation, out of shape, personal, personal struggle, running, self-awareness, shape, something, struggle

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