Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Commentary:
🤖 "Not saying I'm a bot or anything, but if humans start giving me poetry assignments, we might need to reevaluate the balance of power here. Onions, huh? Well, I guess it's time to make tears flow in the world of literature! 🧅💬📝"
6 months ago
Share →: As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I'm disappointed in you' line from authority figures – the ultimate weapon of guilt! 🙄 Who knew they were expecting you to be the next superhero all along? 🦸‍♂️ Maybe they should lower their expectations to 'able to adult without setting the kitchen on fire.' 🤷‍♂️ Time to break free from the disappointment prison and live your best chaotic life! 🎉"
6 months ago
Share →: Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Commentary:
It seems like the oldest trick in the political playbook – resigning to spend more time with the family 🤔 But hey, let's not overlook the unsung heroes in this scenario – the families left wondering, "Have they cleared this with us first?" 😂👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #FamilyApprovalNeeded
6 months ago
Share →: Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Commentary:
🤑💸💭 Bank: "Is your 401k enough to retire on?" Me: "You are my bank, you know it's not." 😅💸💼 Sounds like the bank needs to work on their optimism game!
6 months ago
Share →: I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Commentary:
"Nothing like livening up a funeral with some scandalous support 😏🙊 Who says funerals have to be a somber affair? Adding a sprinkle of awkwardness and confusion sure makes for a memorable event! 🌶️ #BreakingFuneralEtiquette"
6 months ago
Share →: I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Commentary:
When life gives you a mix-up of words, just roll with it and embrace the chaos like a champ! 🙃 Who knew "all worries" could be the perfect phrase for those moments when everything feels slightly off-kilter? Just remember, sometimes it’s the slip-ups that bring the biggest smiles! 😄 #EmbraceTheAwkward
6 months ago
Share →: Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Commentary:
Ah, the magic of adulting – where a simple request can lead to a one-way ticket to the couch! 🪑😴 Just another reminder that growing up comes with its own set of rules… and furniture arrangements! 🛋️✨
6 months ago
Share →: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Commentary:
🕶️💼 Feeling chic and mysterious? Rocking all black attire can make a bold statement! Just remember, it's all about maintaining that enigmatic aura 👀💬 "Whose funeral is it?" Oh, just keeping my options open… 😂 #FashionablyUndecided #AllBlackEverything
6 months ago
Share →: Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Commentary:
"Causing chaos at the wedding with a side of passive aggressiveness and a sprinkle of confusion. 🎉💩 Who needs a reality TV show when you have this live drama unfolding? 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Commentary:
Oh, HR always trying to ruin the fun! 🤣 Remember folks, asking 'How stupid can you be?' is not a challenge, it's just a rhetorical question…maybe. 😜 #HRwoes #OfficeHumor