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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,258

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Just shared via Messenger:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Just shared via Threads:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Freshly posted on X:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

38 Funny seasonal quotes

Funny seasonal quotes bring a burst of laughter 🌟 to every time of year! Whether you’re cozying up in winter ❄️, soaking up summer vibes ☀️, or dancing through autumn leaves 🍂, these witty sayings add a splash of joy and humor to your day. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your feed, they capture the silly side of each season with a smile 😄 and a wink 😉.

New funny seasonal quotes 👇

For even more funny seasonal quotes, hit next 👇

All funny seasonal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

33 shares on X this month:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Just landed via Telegram:

At least life has music.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Just landed via WeChat:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Spotted on Instagram:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Trending via X:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Live now on Instagram:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

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