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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

47 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Making waves on WeChat:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Live now on X:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Just shared via Pinterest:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Home » Funny Shopping Quotes

176 Funny shopping quotes

Funny shopping quotes are the perfect way to laugh at our love for retail therapy! 🛍️😂 Whether it’s splurging on things we don’t need or the thrill of a great sale, these quotes capture the joy and chaos of shopping with humor. Get ready to shop ‘til you drop—with laughter! 😆🛒

New funny shopping quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Commentary:
Sounds like you found the hidden level in the retail video game! 🎮😄🛒
6 days ago
Share →: Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Commentary:
When a grocery trip turns into hide and seek! 🛒🔍😅
1 week ago
Share →: Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Commentary:
Just imagine the dramatic pause before deciding if the ice cream is worth it 🍦💸🛒
1 week ago
Share →: The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Commentary:
When you try to walk past a bookstore without going in but the books start whispering sweet nothings to your wallet 📚❤️🛍️
1 week ago
Share →: Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Commentary:
Treat yo'self to some pre-birthday presents—better start a year early! 🎈🎉🛍️
1 week ago
Share →: All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Commentary:
Strapless bras: fashion's version of duct tape—works in theory, falls apart in practice! 🚫👙🤣
1 week ago
Share →: The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Commentary:
When the clock strikes midnight, my inner Cinderella trades the glass slipper for a credit card 💳🕛💸
2 weeks ago
Share →: When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Commentary:
Guess that pig was after some killer ham bargains! 🐷🛒😆
2 weeks ago
Share →: Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Commentary:
Guess they accidentally joined the "How to Self-Checkout" certification course! 🛒🤦‍♂️💸
2 weeks ago
Share →: What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Commentary:
When your wallet and your willpower aren’t on speaking terms 😂💸🧠

For even more funny shopping quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny shopping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

47 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Trending via X:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Spotted on WeChat:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Just landed via X:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Breaking via X:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

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