Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Spotted on Telegram:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Just landed via X:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Trending via WeChat:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Spotted on Discord:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Home » Funny Shopping Quotes

223 Funny shopping quotes

Funny shopping quotes are the perfect way to laugh at our love for retail therapy! 🛍️😂 Whether it’s splurging on things we don’t need or the thrill of a great sale, these quotes capture the joy and chaos of shopping with humor. Get ready to shop ‘til you drop—with laughter! 😆🛒

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For even more funny shopping quotes, hit next 👇

All funny shopping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

48 shares on Slack this month:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

57 shares on Discord this month:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

15 shares on Slack this month:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,767

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Just landed via YouTube:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Making waves on Twitch:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Trending via WeChat:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Freshly posted on X:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

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