I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Commentary:
"Who needs a night light when you've got Temu's special glow-in-the-dark antidepressants? 💊✨ Say goodbye to the darkness… and hello to your new radiant aura! 😂 #GlowUp"

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Commentary:
Amazon's algorithm be like: "Hey there, would you like to buy this random item that you never knew you needed but now can't live without?" 🤖💸 Resistance is futile, embrace the temptation!

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Commentary:
"Self-checkout: where you're both the customer AND the employee 🤪💸 Who knew scanning a can of beans could be so challenging, right? 😂 #CashierProblems"

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Commentary:
🍻 “Hear ye, hear ye! It’s time for the official unveiling of the ‘Tipsy Furnishing’ concept! Where meatballs and merriment meet flat-pack furniture – because who doesn’t want their Gjörfbunkle to come with a side of brewski wisdom? Cheers to the genius who knew the true path to assemble-y bliss!” 🛋️🍺

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Commentary:
"Standing at the checkout line is like being in a reverse popularity contest. 😂🛒 Those in front are the contenders, while the real winners are quietly waiting at the back! 🥇 #BackOfTheLineForTheWin"

Work from home ain't for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I'm shopping.

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Commentary:
"Receipts are basically just souvenirs from a quick stop at the store – reminding you of the money you've spent in the most fleeting way possible. 🧾💸♻️ #TrashTalk"

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Commentary:
"Patience is a virtue, but so is hunger! 🍕🍪 Who needs cookies when you can have an entire pizza delivered at the click of a button? Let's hope the internet catches up to our cravings soon! 😂🤞"

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Commentary:
Oh, the excitement of the holiday season! 🎄🎁 Let the annual game of "Guess the Gift" begin! 🤔😂 Here's to hoping your husband's Christmas shopping skills are on point this year… or at least entertaining! 😜 #ChristmasShoppingAdventures

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Commentary:
Looks like Dollar Tree is reaching new heights… or should I say, "tree-mendous" prices! 🌳💸 Renaming themselves to 'Tree Fiddy' is just their way of branching out in the market! 😉 #PunnyBusiness