242 Funny situation quotes

• At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

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  3 weeks ago

  around, follow, forgot, funny situation, grocery, grocery store, guess, guy, humor, i, just, list, shopping, situation, store, wife

• I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

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  3 weeks ago

  flexibility, humor, i, never, self-awareness, should, situation, splits, thought, where

• When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

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  3 weeks ago

  always, door, doorbell, funny observation, home, humor, i, jacket, just, leave, observation, rings, situation, social, social situation, visitor, want

• Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

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  3 weeks ago

  accidentally, before, date, even, event, excuse, i, miscommunication, situation, social, social situation, whoops

• Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

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  3 weeks ago

  distraction, driving, even, funny situation, having, humor, pee, problematic, road, road trip, situation, sneeze, trip

• An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

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  3 weeks ago

  awkward, awkward moment, dim, dim lights, exam, eye, eye exam, funny situation, lights, menu, moment, optometrist, read, situation, test, under, vision, vision test, where

• Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

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  3 weeks ago

  $50 bill, 50, bill, bus, bus driver, drive, driver, funny situation, humor, joke, just, just drive, situation, spontaneity, transportation

• How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

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  3 weeks ago

  appointment, awkward, awkward moment, bank, call, cancel, funny situation, humor, just, moment, say, situation, someone, sperm, sperm bank

• If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

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  3 weeks ago

  advice, bank, bank robbery, code, dangerous, dangerous situation, dress, dress code, example, flip flops, going, humor, preparation, robbery, safety, situation, think, wear

• You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

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  3 weeks ago

  awkward, awkward situation, experience, first experience, forget, hr, humor, kiss, meeting, memory, never, situation, workplace, workplace humor

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