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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Breaking via Reddit:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Just shared via Messenger:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Just shared via X:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Just landed via WeChat:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Breaking via YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Seen just now on Threads:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Making waves on TikTok:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

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