Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Commentary:
Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals
6 months ago
Share →: I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Commentary:
Looks like your closet is ready for a philosophical debate! 🤔 Maybe it's time to break out that "existential crisis chic" outfit you've been saving for the perfect occasion! Who knew Nietzsche had insight into both philosophy and fashion dilemmas? Time to show that closet who's boss and strut your stuff on that date! 💃🕺
6 months ago
Share →: I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Commentary:
"Who's the real genius here? 😹🍕 Always keep your eyes peeled, you never know when that pizza delivery bird might show up! 🍕🕊️ #PizzaLovers"
6 months ago
Share →: If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Commentary:
When you gaze at your reflection in a spoon, it's like a self-portrait of a cutlery aficionado in distress 😂🥄 Remind me not to ask you to set the dinner table!
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Commentary:
"Talk about getting a 'heads up' in the most literal sense! 🤯 Maybe next time they'll use words instead of head-squishing gestures. 😆 #CommunicationFail"
6 months ago
Share →: Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Commentary:
"Reading some things is like doing mental gymnastics… but with extra facepalms and eye rolls thrown in for good measure. 🤦‍♂️🤯 #BrainRecoveryModeActivated"
6 months ago
Share →: I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Commentary:
"Who needs a Monday blues when you can have the Wednesday wet whiskers vibe? 🌧️😼 Just lounging by the window, contemplating life's mysteries and pondering where you left your last sunbeam. Work schmirk, rain purrrfection! 😆"
6 months ago
Share →: In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's mastered the art of attention-stealing! 🎨😏 Who needs a gallery when you've got captivating company right in front of you? 😂 #AllEyesOnYou"
6 months ago
Share →: I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic passive-cleaner dilemma! 🙈 It's like a love-hate relationship with the mess, huh? Your house is doing its own little dance party while you give it side-eye from the comfort of your couch. Who will emerge victorious in the battle of wills – you or the mess? Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Domestic Drama'! 🏠🧹"
6 months ago
Share →: I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Commentary:
"Me: *trying to look cute* 😘

My man: *staring intensifies* 😳

Inner me: *panicking* 😬

Reality check: *It's the love gaze or the 'did I leave the stove on?' gaze?* 🤔😂"