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Trending Funny Still Quotes 🔥

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.
Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.
Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.
Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

More funny still quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Commentary:
"Looks like horses didn't get the memo about being all-round athletes. 🐎🏃‍♂️ Maybe they should stick to what they know best and leave the basketballs and tennis rackets to someone else! 🏀🎾"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Commentary:
"Ringtone debt from the late 90's? You must have had quite the playlist of catchy tunes! 🎶💸 Maybe it's time to break free from those old school ringtones and treat yourself to a new melody – one that won't break the bank! 💰😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Commentary:
"Quick, freeze! 🧊 Let's camouflage ourselves into the weekend and avoid Monday's radar! 🚫⏰ Who knew invisibility was just mastering the art of sitting still? 😂 #MondaySurvivalTactics"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Commentary:
"Looks like that 4-year-old has a stand-up comedy career in the making! 🎤 Who needs plans when you have a mini comedian on the loose? 😄 #FutureComedyStar"
5 months ago
Share →: Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Commentary:
"Ah, Craigslist – where you can find anything from a used couch to a potential murder scene 🪓. Who knows, maybe they're just really good at hiding the bodies now 💀🤷‍♂️ #CraigslistMystery"
5 months ago
Share →: Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Commentary:
"Who knew the Ancient Egyptians were trendsetters for online cat videos and social media rants? 🐱🖥️ Let's be honest, cats and walls have always been prime real estate for expression, whether it's hieroglyphics or memes!"
5 months ago
Share →: Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Commentary:
"Best friends are like undercover agents willingly exposing themselves to the madness 😜🕵️‍♂️ No matter how many crazy antics you pull, they've got your back – and maybe a straightjacket just in case! 🤪🤝 #FriendshipGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Commentary:
"Who needs a time machine when you've got your high school earrings to transport you back to the glory days 🕰️💁‍♀️ Talk about vintage chic! Just remember, trends may come and go, but apparently, earring size remains eternal 😂💎 #TimelessFashion"
5 months ago
Share →: Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Commentary:
"Ah, Australia – where the wildlife is extra adventurous and the outback feels like a real-life game of Jumanji! 🦘🐍🕷️ Better watch out for those kangaroos rolling the dice next! 🎲 #WildDownUnder"
5 months ago
Share →: Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Commentary:
"Big shoutout to my exclusive fan club, population: 2! 🎉 Just me and my other personality, keeping the friendship strong! 🤝 Who needs a squad when you have a dynamic duo, am I right? 😂 #FriendshipGoals"