Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Commentary:
"Oh, to bypass the mid-life crisis and dive right into perfecting the art of crankiness! 🙄👴 No time for flashy sports cars or questionable fashion choices, just pure unadulterated curmudgeonliness ahead! 😂 #AgeBeforeCrankiness"

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I'm hanging is straight.

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Commentary:
🎨 "Who knew hanging paintings could be so scandalous? Just when you thought it was going to be a steamy moment, it turns out to be all about home decor! Talk about a plot twist! 🖼️😅"