Funny quotes time

562 Funny time quotes

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

5 days ago

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

1 week ago

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

1 week ago

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

1 week ago

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

1 week ago

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

1 week ago

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

1 week ago

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

1 week ago

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

1 week ago

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

1 week ago

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

1 week ago

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

2 weeks ago

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

3 weeks ago

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

3 weeks ago

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

4 weeks ago

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

4 weeks ago

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

4 weeks ago

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

4 weeks ago

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

1 month ago

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

1 month ago

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

1 month ago

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

1 month ago

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

1 month ago

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

1 month ago

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

1 month ago

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

1 month ago

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

1 month ago

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

1 month ago

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

1 month ago

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

1 month ago