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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Trending via TikTok:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Making waves on WeChat:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Just shared via Facebook:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Going bananas on WeChat:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

1005 Funny time quotes

Funny time quotes are perfect for those moments when time feels like it’s either moving way too fast or dragging on forever! ⏳😂 Whether it’s waiting for the weekend, losing track of hours, or wishing for “just five more minutes,” these quotes show how time can be both hilarious and frustrating. Tick-tock, let the laughs begin! 🕒😜

New funny time quotes 👇

For even more funny time quotes, hit next 👇

All funny time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

46 shares on Slack this month:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

57 shares on Telegram this month:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

25 shares on Threads this month:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

37 shares on Slack this month:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Breaking via Reddit:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Spotted on Twitch:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

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