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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Trending via Pinterest:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Seen just now on Slack:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Just shared via X:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Just shared via Slack:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Spotted on Twitch:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Home » Funny Trust Quotes » Page 7

64 Funny trust quotes

More funny trust quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Commentary:
"Never trust someone who can devour snacks like it's their job but remains as svelte as a celery stick. 🍟🥗 Either they've struck a deal with the metabolism gods 🌟 or they're secretly an undercover food magician. 🎩✨ Don't be fooled by their bottomless pit powers – they're onto something fishy! 🕵️‍♂️🍭"
6 months ago
Share →: You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing says 'romance' quite like plotting together for a staged mishap! 💔😂 Who knew mischief could be so enticing? #LoveAtFirstConspiracy"
6 months ago
Share →: Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Commentary:
"Be cautious of those beaming beings! 😁 Either they're scheming to sell you a bridge 🌉 or are missing a bulb 💡 in the chandelier upstairs! 💁‍♂️ #BrightSmilesButDimMinds"
6 months ago
Share →: My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Commentary:
"Ah, a tattoo that serves as a cautionary tale! 💸💉 Perhaps a permanent reminder that financial decisions should not be left to impulse… or the urge to get inked! 😂"

For even more funny trust quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Making waves on Discord:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Live now on TikTok:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Freshly posted on X:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Shared recently on Threads:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Making waves on Telegram:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

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