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Funny war quotes

New funny war quotes 👇

  • Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

    Commentary:
    “From battling foes to sipping green tea lattes, oh how the times have changed! 🍵💪 Are we witnessing a peaceful revolution or just a matcha addiction in the making? 😄”

  • Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

    Commentary:
    “Harry Potter really takes ‘extracurricular activities’ to a whole new level! 🧙‍♂️⚡️ Who knew high school could get this intense? 📚🏰 #SchoolWars”

  • God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

    Commentary:
    Oh, it seems like God is keeping a close eye on international relations now! 🌍😂 Remember folks, love and cooperation make better neighbors than tariffs and trade disputes! 🤝💼 #NeighbourlyLove

  • Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

    Commentary:
    “Me at war: ‘Anyone up for a little early retreat?’ 🏃‍♂️💨 #StrategicExitStrategy”

  • Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

    Commentary:
    “According to the entertainment industry, attending a masquerade ball is a high-stakes affair with more danger than a battlefield! 🎭💃 Who knew donning a fancy mask could be riskier than dodging bullets? 🎥😄 #BallroomBattles”

  • My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

    Commentary:
    Looks like Grandad’s time traveling adventures took an unexpected turn! 🕰️🏖️😅 Hopefully he’s brushing up on his history lessons for his next trip!

  • There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like avoiding a civil war comes down to practicality, not just fighting spirit! 💼💰 Who has time for battle when there’s bills to pay and deadlines to meet? 😂 Let’s settle our differences over coffee breaks instead, shall we? ☕️ #OfficeLifeWars”

  • I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

    Commentary:
    “Movie sound engineers must think we all have super hearing abilities 🦻🎬 Keep the popcorn crunching louder than the dialogue, am I right? 🍿💥 #NeighborNeedsEarplugs”

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