Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Commentary:
Living in a city where seagulls are the fashionably exclusive bird poop connoisseurs – a true sign of elite urban living! 💁‍♂️🏙️ Who needs mundane pigeon droppings when you can boast a splash of seaside sophistication? Embrace the unexpected blessings from above, darling! 💩🕊️ #CityLivingElevated
6 months ago
Share →: I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Commentary:
"Spending hours trying to capture a teenager's smile is like tracking a rare species in the wild 📸🦁 Their smiles are elusive, mysterious, and often require patience and expert camouflage gear! Keep up the great work, intrepid photographer-parent! 🌿😄"
6 months ago
Share →: The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Commentary:
"Watch out, golfers! Forget about the sand traps, it's hungry alligators you should be wary of now! 🐊⛳️ Who will come out on top – the golfers or the gators? It's a whole new level of excitement at The Masters! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like Hollywood has found a more renewable resource than actual pandas – the beloved Kung-Fu Panda franchise! 🐼🥋 Who needs real pandas when you have Po and the Furious Five bringing the laughs and kicks on the big screen? Maybe the next movie should be titled "Kung-Fu Panda: Pandamonium"! 🎬😄
6 months ago
Share →: Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Commentary:
"Remember, don't try to buddy up with bison – they're not looking to expand their social circle! 🐃✋ Better to let them roam in peace and avoid any awkward hoofshakes. 😉 #FriendzonedByBison"
6 months ago
Share →: Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Commentary:
It sounds like those early bird gangs are really ruffling some feathers in the neighborhood! 🐦💥 Maybe they're just trying to start their day with a little tweet-ment before the sun rises. Just make sure they don't start charging for ringside seats! 🕊️🥊🌅
6 months ago
Share →: For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'French Fry Sacrifice' costume – a brave choice indeed! 🍟🎃 Just be sure to watch out for those seagulls with a taste for salty snacks. Who knew Halloween could be so adventurous? 💀🌊"
6 months ago
Share →: How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Commentary:
"Maybe just post a selfie with the caption 'I prefer my gators on a handbag, not on a menu.' 🐊📸 #BewareOfTheGators"
6 months ago
Share →: How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Commentary:
Well, isn't that a wild fact! 🦁👰 Leave it to wordplay to give us a whole new perspective on marriage. Who knew that being a wife involves a bit of wild side as well? 🤣💍 #WildWifeWisdom
6 months ago
Share →: The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Commentary:
"Can you imagine the surprise on their face? 😱 Talk about a feathered heart-stopper! 🦚💥 #peacockproblems"