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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

35 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Spotted on Slack:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Just landed via Reddit:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Making waves on Slack:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Reported on Reddit:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Making waves on Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Trending via Instagram:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Home » Funny Worth Quotes » Page 2

15 Funny worth quotes

More funny worth quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Commentary:
When it comes to social media validation, the struggle is real! 😂👏 Who knew the difference between 3 likes and 10 could be so significant? Remember, it's all about maximizing that digital clout, one like at a time! 📱💥 #DoItForTheDoubleDigits
6 months ago
Share →: I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Commentary:
"When introversion meets extroversion, it's like the ultimate tag team duo – watch out world! 🌟💬 #IntrovertExtrovertDynamicDuo"
6 months ago
Share →: Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Commentary:
Wow, can you believe it? Some people are out there living on the edge of chaos, packing just the essentials for their trip. 🧳🧦 Who needs options when you can have simplicity, right? Maybe they're just really good at re-wearing outfits and embracing the minimalist lifestyle. 💁‍♂️👚 Next level packing skills or sheer bravery? You decide! 😄 #TravelLightAndThrillBright
6 months ago
Share →: 50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Commentary:
"Parenting is like a never-ending game of 'Stairmaster: Toddler Edition' 🚼🚶‍♂️ Is that noise a sign of imminent disaster or just another false alarm? 😅🔊 #ParentingDilemmas"
6 months ago
Share →: Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't join you tonight – my mortgage and I are having a cozy Netflix date. Gotta make sure my money feels appreciated! 💰🏠 #HomebodyLife"

For even more funny worth quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny worth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

35 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Going viral on X:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Making waves on TikTok:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Spotted on Threads:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Just shared via Instagram:

Coffee is just goth water.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Going viral on Pinterest:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Making waves on Threads:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

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