Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Just landed via Messenger:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Shared recently on Threads:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Trending via Discord:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Seen just now on Threads:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Just shared via Reddit:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

More funny quotes 👇

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

0

1 week ago

active, babe, before, change, chat, conversation, group, group chat, humor, joke, media, relationship, right, social, social media, sorry, texting, timing, trying
You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

0

1 week ago

around, cart, guy, guys, humor, nostalgia, push, push cart, railroad, railroad track, seesaw, track, transportation, travel
Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

0

1 week ago

believe, brother, brothers, childhood, humor, i, Kane, kid, kids, let, misconception, Santa, undertaker, wrestling
It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

0

1 week ago

attractive, attractiveness, bridge, change, comparison, cool, flattering, friend, humor, image, insecurity, jump, less, me, myself, perception, photo, seeing, self, self-image, want
Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

0

1 week ago

financial, financial struggle, housing, humor, i, irony, just, money, paid, place, rent, starve, starving, struggle, survival, warm, warmth
In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

0

1 week ago

20s, audience, authenticity, doing, growth, important, performing, personal, personal growth, prove, resist, resistance, self-awareness, temptation, watching, well
Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

0

1 week ago

game, games, gaming, having, humor, i, live, love, man, reason, reason to live, shoutout, video, video game
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

0

1 week ago

craving, dessert, food, heart, humor, i, sweet, sweet tooth, table, temptation, tooth, walk, wants, whisper
The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

0

1 week ago

escalator, faster, humor, joke, only, speed, thing, wordplay
Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

0

1 week ago

advent, advent calendar, affection, calendar, daily, day, every, humor, me, metaphor, open, open up, relationship, surprise, want

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

55 shares on X this month:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

91 shares on X this month:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

28 shares on TikTok this month:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Live now on Slack:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Going viral on X:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Making waves on X:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Breaking via Pinterest:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Spotted on Pinterest:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Making waves on Messenger:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Spotted on WeChat:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨