Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,789

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Spotted on TikTok:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Trending via Twitch:

Avocado is just green butter.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Just landed via Reddit:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Making waves on Twitch:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Just landed via Telegram:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

More funny quotes 👇

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

0

4 days ago

hope, humor, i, kiss, kissing, lips, longing, miss, missing, next, relationship, romantic, wish, year
“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

0

4 days ago

bed, bed size, beds, couple, couples, divorce, divorce rate, interested, king, king bed, marriage, queen, queen bed, rate, relationship, size, sleep
Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

0

4 days ago

cost, flight, JetBlue, Miami, NYC, price, ride, ride share, rides, same, share, transportation, travel, travel cost, Uber
“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

0

4 days ago

bacteria, biology, complex, complexity, diversity, gut, gut microbiome, health, humor, joke, just, mad, microbiology, microbiome, science, science joke, yours
Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

0

4 days ago

actually, AI, back, ChatGPT, dumb, dumb take, humor, intelligence, just, otherwise, sarcasm, smart, take, technology, using
That urge to nap between 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. is no joke.

0

4 days ago

3, 5, afternoon, joke, nap, time, urge
You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

0

4 days ago

acquaintance, again, casual, casual acquaintance, chill, day, interaction, life, lol, never, social, social interaction, someone, university, whole
25 is the new 0 years old.

0

4 days ago

25, age, birthday, celebration, humor, milestone, new, number, old, youth
They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

0

4 days ago

biography, biopic, guy, humor, just, movie, random, random guy, satire, should
I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

0

5 days ago

absolutely, anti-social, being, doing, doing nothing, home, humor, i, laziness, love, never, nothing, procrastination, relaxation, society

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on X this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Spotted on Reddit:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Shared recently on X:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Going viral on Telegram:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Live now on Pinterest:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Just landed via Reddit:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Just landed via WeChat:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨