Wordgag ツ

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.