Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Seen just now on Discord:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Trending via Discord:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Just landed via Instagram:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Trending via Telegram:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
In 5 years, I'll be the same person with extra layers of wisdom and pizza! 🍕🤣

5, body, body image, fatter, future, here, humor, i, image, joke, myself, self, weight, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

0

3 months ago

absolutely, break, day, doing, doing nothing, just, laziness, nap, need, nothing, recharge, relaxation, rest, Saturday, sleep, sometimes, weekend
Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

0

2 months ago

baby, bite, glasses, humor, i, know, nose, parenting, reputation, where
All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

0

2 months ago

best, childhood, dad, family, fun, humor, memory, mischievous, mom, parenting, prank, secret, start, tell
Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

0

2 months ago

day, going, having, humor, i, least, life, myself, plan, planned, pregnancy, pregnancy test, relief, remind, reminder, still, stress, stress relief, take, test, thing
They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

0

2 months ago

able, barista, everyday, everyday life, Google, i, information, life, media, normal, normal people, people, should, social, social media, technology, Wikipedia
I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, hope, humor, i, joke, just, music, name, real, The Weeknd, Weeknd, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Twitch this month:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

46 shares on Discord this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

33 shares on X this month:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Going viral on TikTok:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Going viral on YouTube:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Making waves on Threads:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Making waves on X:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Trending via Pinterest:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Just shared via Reddit:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨