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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

4 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Spotted on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Just landed via Pinterest:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Freshly posted on X:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

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13 Funny 12 quotes

More funny 12 quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Commentary:
"Three weeks without sweets? More like three hours without treats! 🍬⏳ Who knew time could sprint like Usain Bolt as we age? 🏃‍♂️⏱️ #AgeingFasterThanTime"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Commentary:
"Making a grand announcement about taking a 12-minute break from social media is the modern equivalent of a dramatic exit in a soap opera 📵😂 Who knew life could be so thrilling outside the digital world! Enjoy your social media hiatus, adventurer!"
6 months ago
Share →: Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive quest for solitude and mental preparation in the wee hours of the morning – the ultimate life hack for introverts and morning birds alike! 🌅☕️ Just don't hit the snooze button too many times, or you might run out of hours to prep and end up diving headfirst into the chaos! ⏰😅 #MorningMentor #AloneTimeAlchemist"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

4 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Shared recently on Discord:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Just shared via Telegram:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Live now on Pinterest:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Trending via Slack:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Going viral on Reddit:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

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