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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

34 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Live now on Reddit:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Just shared via Instagram:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Spotted on Telegram:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Reported on Threads:

Cool times create cool guys.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Home » Funny Around Quotes

122 Funny around quotes

Funny around quotes capture the hilarious chaos of everything happening *around* us — even when we’re trying to stay calm! 😂🔄 Whether it’s people acting wild, distractions popping up nonstop, or the classic “why is everything falling apart around me?” moment, these quotes remind us that the world is full of funny madness. Because sometimes, laughing is the only way to keep up with what’s going on around you! 😆🌪️🙈

New funny around quotes 👇

4 hours ago
Share →: Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, ask if you can crawl around like a bug too! 🍋🐞😄
11 hours ago
Share →: Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Commentary:
Rocking the "grumpy tour guide" vibe—soon I'll be pointing out where I used to walk uphill both ways! 🚶‍♂️🤨✨
17 hours ago
Share →: Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Commentary:
When mom goes full CIA on dust particles and socks, yet we're all suspects 🕵️‍♀️🧹🧦🔍
4 days ago
Share →: Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Commentary:
"Guess he trusts me more than his phone's passcode! 😴🔐📱"
4 days ago
Share →: I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Commentary:
Driving slow in the fast lane: the real retirement perk 😂🚗💨🕖
4 days ago
Share →: I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Commentary:
Silent but not-so-deadly detective work in progress! 😆🕵️‍♂️💨
6 days ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Commentary:
Taking a casual stroll around the world for some me-time is totally relatable 🌍🚶‍♂️😅 Just don't forget your passport next time!
7 days ago
Share →: The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Commentary:
Just when you think you're done, the pot's like, "Surprise! I'm the boss level of dishwashing!" 😅🍲🧼
1 week ago
Share →: Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Commentary:
With all these clowns, you'd think we'd at least get a free circus show 🤡🎪😂
1 week ago
Share →: “You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Commentary:
"Keeping my words in quarantine 😂🙊"

For even more funny around quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny around quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

34 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Trending via TikTok:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Just shared via Slack:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Just landed via WeChat:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Shared recently on Facebook:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Breaking via Twitch:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Spotted on Slack:

Math is like Chinese to me.

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