Iโ€™m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

I lied, thereโ€™s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Hereโ€™s our little murder doodler.

Is this art or trash?

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Itโ€™s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. Thatโ€™s just watching paint thatโ€™s already dry.