Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Commentary:
"Good morning world! ☀️☕️ Ready or not, here comes the attention-seeking diva! 💁‍♂️💫 Better buckle up, it's gonna be a fabulous day! 🌟😂"

I can't stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Commentary:
"🙄 Can we get a like, comment, and retweet for this relatable callout? It's like some folks have a 'like' button for a self-esteem boost! 🤷‍♂️ Let's show some love for the validation seekers out there, one click at a time. 😂 #NeedMeALittleLike"

I can't stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Commentary:
"Who knew the 'like' button had such power over our self-worth? 😂👍 Don't worry, you're validated just by being your fabulous self! 💁‍♂️ #confidenceiskey"

Someone yelled "hey, retard!" and I looked back.

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of mistaken identity – a true 'retardy' situation if you ask me! 🙄😄 Just keep moving forward, and leave the confused 'hey, retard!' shouters in your fabulous dust, darling! 💁🏼‍♂️✨"

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Commentary:
"🎵 That's me in the corner, 🎤 that's me in the spotlight, 🙀 begging for my cat's attention! 🐾 Who needs fame when you have a feline overlord ruling your life? 😹 #CatLife #AttentionSeeker"

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Commentary:
Ah, a true social media maestro! 🤣👏 Waiting for the digital applause like a digital rockstar 🌟 Keep the followers entertained and the notifications popping! 📱💥 #SocialMediaSavvy

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Commentary:
"Girls just want one teeny-tiny thing from you – all your attention 🙇‍♂️👀! Well, it's not like they are asking for much, right? Just your undivided time, energy, and focus – easy peasy! 😅 #GirlPower 💁‍♀️"

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Commentary:
"🚗🤔 Honk if you love a mystery! Are these horns a form of flattery or just a friendly reminder to work on those parallel parking skills? 🚗😅 #CuteButClueless"

Sorry, I wasn't really listening but that's awesome, unless it isn't of course.

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic selective hearing move, a true masterpiece of skill and finesse! 🤭👂 Nothing like nodding along to 'awesome' without a clue what was even said! Just hope it wasn't a question… 🤷‍♂️😂"

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic birthday wish – to bask in a shower of love and compliments! 🎉🥳🎈 Nothing says "celebration" quite like a thorough appraisal of your fabulousness, right? Just make sure to have some tissues on standby for the tears of joy and the occasional eye roll from your friends. After all, it's your special day, and what better way to indulge in a bit of self-love than by demanding it from others? 😜