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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Trending via Slack:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Trending via Threads:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Going viral on Threads:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Just shared via Telegram:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Seen just now on Threads:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Live now on Telegram:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Making waves on Messenger:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

90 Funny bathroom quotes

More funny bathroom quotes 👇

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

1 week ago

activity, actually, bathroom, better, cleaning, evidence, fun, fun activity, humor, job, motivation, murder, pretend, while
I have to stand in the shower about this.

1 week ago

bathroom, confusion, humor, i, shower, stand, standing
Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

1 week ago

bathroom, behind, dog, every, follows, humor, independence, independent, pet, strong, woman
Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

1 week ago

afterlife, bathroom, burial, death, humor, long time, me, pee, still, sure, time
Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

1 week ago

bathroom, comfort, coming, home, own, pleasure, sheer, talking, using, vacation, why
My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

1 week ago

bathroom, doubter, grouter, humor, i, motivation, remodel, success, wordplay
Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

1 week ago

apology, bathroom, convince, dryer, excuse, exist, existence, funny excuse, hand, hand dryer, humor, i, late, lateness, sorry, trying
This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

1 week ago

bathroom, bathroom mirror, draw, every, finger, finger gun, gun, guns, humor, just, know, mirror, morning, never, practice, quick, quick draw, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation
My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

1 week ago

always, bathroom, concert, hold, humor, i, long shower, performance, procrastination, routine, shower, showers, singing, take
The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

1 week ago

50, 50 plus, age, aging, available, bathroom, being, humor, opportunity, pee, plus, take, thing, whenever, wisdom, wise

For even more funny bathroom quotes, hit next 👇

All funny bathroom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

69 shares on X this month:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

54 shares on X this month:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I love when the plot thickens.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Going viral on Twitch:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Spotted on Threads:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Just shared via Facebook:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Spotted on X:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Spotted on Instagram:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Just landed via Instagram:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Activity Log ✨

90 Funny bathroom quotes

More funny bathroom quotes 👇

All funny bathroom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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