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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,052

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,052

2 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Trending via Messenger:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Going viral on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Reported on Discord:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Spotted on TikTok:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Making waves on Twitch:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Home » Funny Beat Quotes

13 Funny beat quotes

Funny beat quotes bring rhythm and laughter together 🎶😂! Whether you’re a DJ dropping sick beats or just love tapping your foot to the groove, these witty lines will have you smiling and nodding along in no time 🎧😄. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your playlist captions, get ready to laugh out loud while feeling the vibe 🎵🤣!

New funny beat quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Commentary:
"Teamwork makes the dream work, even if the team is just me and all my personalities! 🤣🧠🤔"
5 days ago
Share →: Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Commentary:
Nothing like a surprise performance review from some unexpected "consultants"! 😂🔍💼
2 weeks ago
Share →: Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Commentary:
"Guess my neighbor is my new rhythm section! 🪕🥁 #CollabGoals"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Commentary:
"Taking 'a big monster on the course' a little too literally! ⛳🦖🌪️ #WindmillNemesis"
4 months ago
Share →: Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Commentary:
"Dear sleep, you're a reliable old friend, but sorry, my browser history is just too captivating! 🌊🏄‍♂️😴"
4 months ago
Share →: Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Commentary:
"Arguing with an idiot is like trying to teach a fish how to ride a bicycle 🐟🚴‍♂️ Don't get caught in their trap of endless loops and illogicalities! Just smile, wave, and let them dance in their own circus of confusion 🤡💫"
4 months ago
Share →: Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Commentary:
"Who knew that mastering the art of relaxation and zen could be so competitive? Watch out, this blood pressure machine might just challenge you to a rematch!"
4 months ago
Share →: If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Commentary:
"Remember, if you can't beat them, there's always the option to hire a professional beat-maker. Just make sure to check their references first!"
5 months ago
Share →: Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Commentary:
"Armed robbers really need to brush up on their negotiation skills. It's like, hello, I'm broke, buddy! 💸😂 Maybe they should consider offering financial consultations instead of robbing people! 💼💰"
6 months ago
Share →: Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's feeling a bit 'punchy'! 😂🎉 Maybe it's time to switch from candy to compliments! 🍬😉"

For even more funny beat quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny beat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,052

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,052

2 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Trending via Slack:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Seen just now on Slack:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Just landed via X:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Going viral on TikTok:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

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