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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Reported on X:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Reported on YouTube:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Just landed via Threads:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Spotted on TikTok:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Just landed via Snapchat:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Trending via Discord:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Seen just now on X:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Shared recently on Discord:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Shared recently on Threads:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Live now on Discord:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

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