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39 Funny boss quotes

More funny boss quotes πŸ‘‡

  • Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

    Commentary:
    “Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? 🤔 Me: Because a good employee is hard to find… and an even better hider! 🤣🕵️‍♂️ #HideAndSeekChampion”

  • Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

    Commentary:
    “Trying to outsmart your boss with a bedtime trick? 🛌😴 That’s some next-level strategizing! Just make sure he doesn’t wake up before his alarm goes off!⏰😂”

  • In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

    Commentary:
    Looks like the boss is taking the phrase “silence is golden” a bit too seriously! 🤫 Who knew increasing morale could involve reducing communication? 🤔 Maybe they’re trying out a new approach to team building – the power of awkward silence! 🙊 Just remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder… or in this case, the office grow quieter! 🤣

  • How do I even know this guy is my β€œboss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic case of official job title skepticism! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe your ‘boss’ is just a really convincing cosplayer? 🤔 Remember, anyone can claim to be a boss, but leading with style and influence is what truly makes you the boss! 💼💪”

  • My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

    Commentary:
    “Keeping it cool under pressure: the art of ‘I don’t give a ship’ 🚢😎 Who knew indifference could be so Zen?”

  • HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

    Commentary:
    🤦‍♂️ “Ah, the classic ‘anonymous’ survey – HR’s way of finding out who has the best handwriting in the office! And of course, nothing says ‘anonymous’ quite like your boss singling you out as the last one to complete it. Smooth move, HR, real smooth. 📝😂”

  • To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

    Commentary:
    “Breaking news: Turns out the boss you hate might just be yourself! 🤯😂 Say hello to the demanding, never-let-you-take-a-day-off, forever-critical boss you can’t escape – You! 🙈💼 #SelfEmploymentStruggles”

  • A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

    Commentary:
    “Brilliant idea! Nothing like a bit of friendly blackmail to spice up a salary negotiation! 💸😂 Just remember to wink and chuckle for extra impact! 😉 #NegotiationSkills”

  • My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone found a sneaky loophole in the office pet policy! 🐶❌🦙✔️ Forget “take your dog to work day” – it’s all about “take your alpaca to work day” now! Watch out, your boss might soon be giving you the side-eye during team meetings with an unexpected furry friend by your side. 😂🦙👔

  • The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like the Pope missed out on scoring some divine holiday bonuses this year! 🎅🎄🎁 #PopeProblems”

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