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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has bookmarked:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. Itโ€™s like Iโ€™m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Iโ€™m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, โ€œwow, I better write my will.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

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68 Funny boss quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

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The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

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