68 Funny boss quotes

• Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

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  4 weeks ago

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• I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

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  4 weeks ago

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• Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

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  4 weeks ago

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• Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

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  4 weeks ago

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• If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

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  4 weeks ago

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• Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

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  4 weeks ago

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• Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

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  4 weeks ago

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• That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

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  4 weeks ago

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• My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

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  4 weeks ago

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• Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

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  4 weeks ago

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