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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

40 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Going viral on Threads:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Going viral on Slack:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Seen just now on Discord:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Making waves on Twitch:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Going viral on TikTok:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Home » Funny Burn Quotes » Page 2

14 Funny burn quotes

More funny burn quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of autocorrect turning 'hell' into 'hello' strikes again! 🔥😂 Looks like the inventor got a taste of their own medicine there! #autocorrectfail
6 months ago
Share →: How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Commentary:
"Raise your hand 🙋‍♀️ if you remember the struggle of burning CDs and waiting for your favorite songs to download on LimeWire 📀💻 Ah, the good ol' days of technological evolution! Anyone else feeling a tad vintage today? 😄🎶 #ThrowbackThursday #TechNostalgia"
6 months ago
Share →: There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Commentary:
Ah, the majestic symphony of crackling flames as they consume the evidence of all those questionable decisions. 🔥🔥 Who needs a shredder when you have a cozy fire to handle your problems? Just be sure to invite some marshmallows for a guilt-free alibi! 😉🔥
6 months ago
Share →: Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of toasting – a delicate dance between impatience and charred disappointment. 🍞⏳ One must possess the perfect blend of vigilance and nonchalance to achieve the elusive state of golden brown perfection. 🔥🙈 After all, there's a fine line between a well-toasted slice and a fire hazard waiting to happen! 🔥🚫 Remember, while the toast might take its sweet time, life moves fast – so never miss

For even more funny burn quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

40 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Making waves on Threads:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Going viral on X:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Breaking via WeChat:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Reported on Pinterest:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Just shared via WeChat:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

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