54 Funny casual quotes

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

  Commentary:
  "Relax, she's just in a deep battle with a 1000-piece jigsaw. 🧩 She'll text back once she finds the corner pieces! 😂📱"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds a-peeling! 🥕😄 When life gives us carrots, we make… interesting dinner plans?"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

  Commentary:
  "Hopefully wearing a crown I made out of nachos! 🧀👑🍺 #FiveBeerPlan"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you honey, embrace your inner Pooh Bear! 🍯🐻 No pants, no problem! 😂🍯"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

  Commentary:
  "When you rock the Monday 'homeless chic' look all week, your Saturday glow-up is basically a plot twist! 😂✨ #FashionStrategy"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

  Commentary:
  "Guess I'm ready for a 'fur' real party with the wrong kind of cougar! 🍷🐱 #CatastrophicMisunderstandings"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a hand towel when you've got a purrsonal assistant? 😂🐱👐"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

  Commentary:
  "When your name is practically a job description, you're destined for greatness! 😄👨‍💼 #JustAGuyThings"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: “What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

  Commentary:
  "Playlist diversity champion right here! 🎶🙌 If it jams, it lambs!"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Me pretending I have inner peace like 🍃😌🍃 #WorryLevelExpert"

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