320 Funny comedy quotes

• I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  comedy, humor, i, sarcasm, self-deprecating, talent, un-monetizable

• Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  body, body function, burp, comedy, deep, digestion, feel, function, humor, i, lighthearted, loss, lost, love, me, self, self humor, weight, weight loss

• Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  60s, comedy, cultural, cultural reference, drugs, give, history, humor, irony, just, me, nostalgia, realization, reference, satire, should, wait

• Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  comedy, great, humor, joke, only, rain, sarcastic, umbrella, want, weather, wet

• I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  comedy, eviction, humor, i, irony, lesson, life, life lesson, living, living in the moment, moment, sarcasm

• Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  anger, chair, comedy, coping, coping mechanism, emotional, emotional regulation, forced, frustration, humor, mechanism, okay, patience, regulation, relief, say, self-control, stress, stress relief, throwing

• I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  celebrity, city, comedy, humor, i, jealousy, luxury, money, much, satire, sex, show, TV, TV Show, upset, watch

• I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  cause, cliff, comedy, drive, driving, grateful, gratitude, humor, i, irony, me, people, reckless, remember, safe, safety, sarcasm, tell

• I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  bodily, bodily function, body, comedy, fart, function, funny moment, humor, i, joke, just, moment, quirky, same, screenshot, sneeze, think, time, unexpected

• Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  behavior, comedy, critique, good, humor, internet, media, most, newspaper, nose, online, online behavior, playful, sarcasm, satire, social, social media, Twitter

All funny comedy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌