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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Spotted on X:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Just shared via Threads:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Going bananas on Slack:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Just shared via Instagram:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

4 weeks ago

arrangement, dating, dynamics, having, hobby, housing, humor, interest, joke, living, living arrangement, person, place, relationship, roommate, social, social dynamics, stay
The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

4 weeks ago

attraction, dating, dilemma, ethics, flirtation, humor, humor quote, lust, man, morality, over, relationships, romantic, romantic dilemma, thing
That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

4 weeks ago

communication, conflict, dating, done, every, humor, humor quote, relationship, sarcasm, saving, time
Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

4 weeks ago

dating, full, full moon, girl, girls, humor, i, joke, know, lunar, moon, playful, sacrifice, spot, supernatural, under
Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

4 weeks ago

circle, clever, dating, flirting, humor, humorous, humorous remark, i, joke, over, playful, remark, sarcasm, teasing, witty
Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

4 weeks ago

bored, boredom, dating, flirting, humor, interaction, situation, situations, social, social interaction, unwanted, unwanted situation
If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

4 weeks ago

ask, astrology, dating, getting, humor, i, interaction, nerf, sign, social, social interaction, vibe, zodiac, zodiac sign
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

4 weeks ago

dating, existence, girlfriend, God, humor, humorist, irony, love, me, needs, neglect, only, relationship, sarcasm, something, treats, unrequited, unrequited love
Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

4 weeks ago

attempt, dating, dating profile, entertainment, free, game, humor, humor attempt, joke, media, profile, social, social media, think
If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

4 weeks ago

activity, always, back, dating, fun, fun activity, humor, let, letting, letting go, love, meant, relationship, snacks, someone

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

74 shares on X this month:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Trending via TikTok:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Just shared via Slack:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Trending via Slack:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Trending via TikTok:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Spotted on YouTube:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Making waves on Slack:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨